The Holocaust

I originally wrote this next post on Tuesday, August 01, 2006 on my MYSPACE blog. Please read because it discusses some serious issues and while my blog entries are usually filled with more levity, I think this is very important and that all readers will gain some insight in themselves. While a little outdated it still is very poignant. Would love to hear your comments in the comment section if you have any.

Holocaust of Americans, The Constitution, and future 9-11 like attacks Current mood: nervous I am Daniel Berman. I am a cartoonist, a comedian, a writer. I am an artist. I just turned 31 years old, I am not political. I live in the Lower East Side of Manhattan (I now am in williamsburg, BK). I am silly and goofy. (I am still silly and goofy, less so though). I wear camouflage pants occasionally, not because there are bombs dropping, people dieing and buildings being demolished in NYC (okay, maybe those things are happening or have happened in recent history), but because these camos are standard issue to any hipster who lives in this neighborhood. I am dark, morbid and friendly. I am a unique individual. I am (I believe myself to be) a very good person, sensitive and thoughtful and at times concerned with others well being at the detriment of my own. That is a brief overview of who I am. My grandparents were/are survivors of the Holocaust. My grandfather was fortunate enough to escape the DACHAU concentration camp (the first regular concentration camp established. 1933). * *I did not know that Dachau was the first concentration camp until now. I am doing research as I present you with the facts that I do have. I am including that info and this explanation to you because I want to express the realness of what happened and also because I personally don’t know some of the details that well. I feel that I owe it to my family and friends (past, present and future) to piece some of this together. My grandfather, along with his brother and parents escaped Germany and came to America. My grandfather has since passed and I can’t tell you how much I miss him and how great a grandfather he was. Grandpa Fred was so nice and wonderful. He loved me and he was very warm. I looked up to my grandfather, not just because we were related or because he was a great fisherman but because he was such a smart, loyal, hard working man with ethics and scruples.

Hint. Wink. Nudge. Pinch. Poke. Prod. Push. Pull.

Headline: Bush Admits Himself

Last year we read the the headline “Bush Acknowledges Frustration in Irak” and it struck us that we have seen something similar/identical in the past. We entered “Bush Acknowledges” and “headlines” into several search engines and organized our findings into this funny and really sad entry: Bush has a monthly subscription to reality and to US Weekly. That blog entry is our most popular to date and has garnered 1000’s of views over the past year.

We are hoping lightning strikes again with this post.

Todays installment: A search on “Bush admits” and “headlines” led to these findings.  The Bush Administration should be called the Bush ADMITistration because they sure do admit quite often. Wish they did something in conjunction to admitting their shortcomings, oversights and blatant lies. You can click on the headlines to be re-directed to the actual articles if that is your desire or whim. And without further ado Daniel, Danny, Dan proudly presents….

We will start off fun……..

Bush admits to smoking marijuana

Bush Admits 24-Year-Old DUI Arrest

The Raw Story | Fox News reporter says Bush admitted using cocaine …

thanks www.bigmattress.com

These are not so fun. But rather horrible and criminal. And sad.

The Washington Post AdmitsUnderplaying Stories Critical of White house

Bush admits that Iraq Had Nothing To Do With 9/11

Bush Admits To Bin Laden Connection

Pensito Review » Bush Admits ‘Majority’ of 9/11 Hijackers Were Saudis

Bush admits CIA has held terror suspects - Yahoo! News

Bush admits Iraq war has been costlier than he anticipated …

Bush admits U.S. has big role in global warming

MyDD :: Bush Admits to Authorizing Leak

Bush admitsadministration leaked agent name - Politics- msnbc.com

Bush admits telecoms spied

Bush admits eavesdropping, slams senators for blocking Patriot Act

Bush admits errors in Iraq but insists on staying there

Bush admits he approved torture (enhanced interrogation)

President Bush admits “immigration bill” is Amnesty

Ohio coin dealer admits illegal Bush donations - On Deadline …

Bush Admits Iraq ‘Miscalculations’ in Times Interview

Bush Admits He Targeted Saddam from the Start

Bush AdmitsHe Lied About Rumsfeld …

President Bush Admits To Reading Newspapers

Bush admits Iraq, Vietnam parallels

Bush Admits his Privatization Plan Won’t Save Social Security (by …

We sure hope that the Bush ADMITistration is held accountable for some of these criminal admissions. We admit that we would love to see a fair and just country, and believe that at one point it was. It was intended to be, perhaps.

We admit we like the occasional drink, the occasional flirt, and the occasional impeachment.

 

a Very Tangential Surgery Tale 1 (1 of three) or My run in with the Cops

I mentioned two posts ago that recently I was in the hospital having two feet of my intestine removed.

Overall, the surgery has resulted in a quality that I haven’t known in my adult life. I have more energy and ambition than I’ve ever possessed. In Hindsight, I should have done this surgery years ago. My excuses and I have many, was that I lacked all the necessary information that I would have the most sought after and specialized doctors/surgeons in the nation. Also, and this one is one of my all time favorite excuses, I was scared and there was no guarantee that the operation would be a success. Not bad, huh?

Life is a game and we are challenged to not only play against other opponents but also ourselves.

Or, Life is a stage and I have yet to receive a final draft of the script.

The surgery and the recovery, while not pleasant, was a necessary evil. Even if you are not sick, I totally reccomend that YOU too have the operation. Run, don’t walk.

Or, Bike.

But, I digress and without any further ado I present you with…

a Very Tangential Surgery Tale 1 (1 of three)

or

My Run in with the cops

Before the Surgery I was given the prep instructions that for the 48 hours prior to my hospitalization I was to refrain and abstain from any food whatsoever.

I was in severe pain, I was light headed and weak without any food and I was quite nervous about the impending procedure. I had recently (within the last 2 weeks) moved to Williamsburg, BK and was thinking that not only would a leisurely stroll on my bike through my new neighborhood clear my mind it would allow an opportunity to explore.

On my new bike and in my new neighborhood, I navigated the bumpy urban terrain, avoiding piles of hipster puke and suburban parents given to subsidizing their edgy and punk rock offspring. A car came speeding by and startled me and my instinct was to hop the curb and jump onto the sidewalk. Seconds after, I was signaled by two police officers to stop my bike. They proceeded to write me a ticket/summons for riding my bicycle on the sidewalk.

I told the officers:

• A car almost hit me. I was on the sidewalk to avoid, you know, being roadkill.

They continued to write the ticket. Since that honest and earnest rationale did not seem to appease the offending officers I tried a different, but again truthful tactic.

• I just recently moved into the borough. I have been in Manhattan for the last 7 years and I never heard of this offense.

The officers were not impressed or deterred from giving me a ticket. I thought, why not give more info that may either enlighten the police officers or reveal a human heart beneath the monster exterior.

• I have not eaten in 48 hours. Tomorrow I am having 2 feet of my intestine removed and my appendix. Can you throw me a bone and just give me a warning?

The cops neither gave me a warning or a glimpse of human understanding and preceded to hand over the ticket. I could not worry about it because I had surgery the next morning and that preoccupied my brain. No, big payoff on this story other than last week I ran into these same police officers and they ended up taking turns sucking my dick for 5 hours while asking for my forgiveness. Hmm, no, no, I am sorry that did NOT happen… but what did, was I went to court and everything was dismissed! Yes.

There are two other tangential  installments to come. In the meantime please enjoy these pics.

AND 

AND

AND

THE above is by an artist named Anita Mejia and I found it at the great website DRAWN! Its very dark and cute. Daniel, Danny, Dan enjoys.

Two of my faves

Weird Fozzy and Al Yankovic

This would have been my wet dream photoshoot when I was 10 years old. Of course, not wet dreamiing until i was 27.  Thank you, thank you puberty. All this photo is missing is Punky Brewster, Alvin of Alvin and the Chipmunks fame and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then it would all encapsulate my childhood.

Just wanted to share.

Thanks to Lucas Held’s International House of Relax for the the Picture.

Plus — late breaking news

The Disease: The Outtakes: All two feet

I have been sick for all of my adult life with this fun little hereditary, crohnic disease called Crohns. I was 20 years old, a junior in college when I started to lose weight at a rapid clip. I had no idea what was wrong with my body when within 30 days I had dropped 35 pounds. I was, as I like to call it, “scared as shit” and clueless to what the catalyst was or to the cause. I was a little chubby at the beginning of that month. Honestly, after the first 10 pounds (all in the first week), I was like, bring it on tape worm. Go Go gadget weight loss. This sure beats excercise. In fact, and truthfully, the week before I got sick I bought some Slim Fast drinks. I went from this shit works! to This shit works!!! to holyshit Slim Fast, slow the hell down!!!!

Thankfully the weekend plans changed

This weekend is Memorial day weekend, (MEMORIAL DAY) is a day  to commemorate and honor soldiers who have valiatnly lost thier lives fighting for this country. Its either about that or its about picnicing, barbecues, book burnings, family gatherings and sporting events.

Memorial day is about the latter, especially the barbecues! Am I right AMERICA? CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT. 

Unfortunately, I can.

Be careful because the flames from the barbecue grill

Could come within a close proximity of something flame retardent like perhaps an American flag or an American flag leotard …

It would result in something more flaming like this…

Its safer to leave your American Flag at home this Memorial Day.

Memorial day is also viewed as the unofficial start to summer, and by reason the end to spring. And to me, its the official end to a period marked by strife and growth . The new phase will undoubtedly be challenging and strewn with obstacles, blessings, discoveries, victories, losses, and more… but I will face it with literally, a new body, metaphoricly, a new mind, a dark sense of humor, a light sense of sadness and a crayon box with new colors being added on a more frequent basis.

The above photo is more accurate, but if you are squimish please see the following photo to set you at ease. Then to be set straight, look back up at the photo that made you squimish. Repeat, until the photo above doesn’t bother you as much or the photo below really starts bugging the utter shit out of you.

Have a good long weekend! From daniel, danny, dan

 

 

Hey Einstein!

    

 Very similar hairstyles.

 I have been reading a lot of books lately, interweaving between current day best sellers and classics. Shit, reading is enjoyable. Before I would have said “reading is fun” and now, because I read more veraciously, my vocab has grown. That is right… instead of fun, I say enjoyable, really the word is all encompassing of the sentiment… 

Back handedly honest (earnest), but I just came across these words from Einstein that stresses the importance of reading the classics, history books, relics …

Einstein (albert einstein) says

Somebody who reads only newspapers and at best the books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely nearsighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else. And what a person thinks on his own without being stimulated by the thoughts and experiences of other people is even in the best case rather paltry and monotonous.

There are only a few enlightened people with a lucid mind and style and with good taste within a century. What has been preserved of their work belongs among the most precious possessions of mankind.

Nothing is more needed than to overcome the modernist’s snobbishness.

I say right on albert.

On a different note, and there have been many struck lately. I have so much to tell, I am working on a book of the last two years of my life. Really amazing stuff, destructive evil sick people I have come in contact with, along with some wonderful, caring and amazing people. This aspect is only tip of the Nautilus.  More to come. In say 20 years or 2 months. Right, einstein?

Here is a cool pic of two living creatures commiting suicide, side by side.

Here is something fun. Followed by another truism that Albert felt.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. -Einstein

Incidentally, Is this Einstein or Marilyn Monroe? You sure? Squint your eyes and tell me

And Finally, to bookend this post on books… the end of the post with a clever idea for bookends

 

New Years Resolution Realized

Phew! I did it! I can cross off my first resoultion for 08′ as realized.

I promised myself that for the entirety of January or 1/12 of this New Year, I would sit on my hands and not make any entries save the measly last post on 1/19/08 (that promised that I would or whatever).

It was trying and at times I did NOT think I would be able to squash all of my musings and ideas on life. I thought at one point I was going to crack and put up a commentary that would actually resonate with my readers. You have to have your convictions and your goals…

Who wants to go to a website and have to see new content all the time… not me, um… no!

But its a new dawn and the sun is setting over the town of inactivity or…  you know,  it may be Boise, Idaho. One of the two.

 

Get ready for the cock to crow…

February, is the month where there will be more postings. Oh yes.

Danny in Traffic

I started this site as a way to show off my facets, to encourage those ones more developed than the others. To push along the ones that have atrophied and others that never came to fruition for one reason or another. Its been since October that I have posted anything here of real substance.   I think that the entries may come a little more frequently now. Although, it is my site, and so they come when I get off my big sexy ass. Lets chalk it up to a new year resolution. Life has moved on and I am trying my hardest to walk side by side with it.  Not so funny. Here is a drawing I did. Here is a photo my bro took of me. Here is  another photo I really like. No particular order. 

    Talk soon .

   

Daniel